Natal Moon Conjunct Saturn ~ Melancholia
The moon represents our emotional nature, our security and deepest needs. It containts our basic habits and unconscious reactions related to our past karma and upbringing. It is associated with the mother and with feminine energy in general, it is both our inner child and mother. It is responsive, receptive, reflective and instinctual. In our personal chart it shows how we respond to our environment emotionally.
Moon Conjunct Saturn
The Saturn-Moon combination is not a particularly harmonious one; and in these contacts the individual lunar nature is often detrimentally affected. You can display a sombre, self-restrained, conservative personality. Your social relationships can lack spontaneity, enthusiasm, and naturalness, inhibited by emotional defensiveness, reserve, and caution. Self-esteem is weakened by such attitudes, which fall like a shadow across your relationships and experiences. One source of this may have been childhood and early social conditioning. Perhaps early childhood was influenced by family discipline, either through authoritarian controls, or through imposed religious, political, or social beliefs. Perhaps there were family upheavals and unsettling discord, or strong feelings that you were not really wanted or loved by your parents, whether or not this was actually true. This may have resulted in a fear of emotional expression, to others and even to yourself. This, coupled with a need to protect your sensitivity, has associated emotions with painful 'negative experiences'. In adult life, there may be one parent toward whom you still feel resentment, deeply contradictory attitudes, and powerful emotions. Emotional integration can be lacking; it is part of your nature that remains uncomfortable and relatively immature, and which will interfere with adult relationships that may prove difficult to develop beyond the early stages. A lack of self-confidence, and reluctance to reveal your vulnerable feelings to others, make you withdraw into negative behaviour patterns whenever the possibility of a close relationship occurs. Liberation from the past's chains will bring relief and release; it may not be easy, yet could provide the keys to a bright new future. You may be surprised at how much past experience and conditioning have shaped your adult personality; looking for ways to heal and integrate your inner child would be extremely beneficial and transformative. Achieving this step could help improve the quality of your relationships. Potential exists for you to enjoy mature contacts with other essentially serious and thoughtful partners, where the relationship has maturity and depth, with a gradual emotional release as mutual sharing increases across every level - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual
It is best to keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself. You may feel loneliness or isolation and occasionally depression but its more of a state of mind than actual reality. Your emotions are quite unpleasant and therefore is not a good time for making decisions that affect your emotional life