Natal Saturn Square Neptune ~ The Self Defeatist
Saturn rules our conditioning or the way we were taught and brought up in the world. It is associated with restriction and limitation but with this it brings structure and meaning to the world and our lives. It reminds us of our boundaries, responsibilities and commitments. It is often associated with a father or authority figures. Saturns lessons actually help us to grow. In you chart the position of Saturn reveals you limitations, fears and sense of responsibility.
Saturn Square Neptune
The square indicates inner tensions and frustrations, and it is likely that Neptune will be inhibited from true realisation and will be bound within the unconscious mind by the barrier-forming restrictions of Saturn. This will cause Neptune to be agitatory, stimulating unconscious fears, anxieties, phobias, morbidity and guilt feelings arising from an overactive imagination which lacks suitable channels for a more healthy release. The consequences of this inner pressure and disquiet tend to create feelings of inadequacy, incompetence and inferiority. These may be quite illusory and unrealistic, yet they have a powerful influence on your actions and choices. As time passes and you perpetuate these tendencies, you continue to create negative results, which convinces you that such inferiority beliefs are actually true. You become a self-defeatist, and lack confidence in your own abilities. This negativity can spread until you begin to run away from accepting responsibility or challenges. Denial of any aspect leads to its suppression into the unconscious mind, where it is likely to fester, slowly releasing poisons into the personality within the appropriate level of natural affinity, distorting body, emotions or mind. Such a forced cutting away of part of your nature is never wise, and is as foolish as cutting away an arm because there may be an unsightly mole on it. In accepting your own nature, self-forgiveness is required, and a refusal to compare yourself to any illusory ideal of perfection. Why feel guilty because you are not like an ideal? You never can be, and your real task is just to become yourself, warts and all; and coming to terms with that is a great freedom and liberation in itself. Face those fears of failure. Talents are there within you; they are just hiding out of sight. Find that pot of gold around the corner, and perhaps with a bit of support from others you'll learn how to really use it. All of those inner illusions, guilt trips, inferiority complexes and phobias can dissipate like chimeras in the sky. The self-imposed barriers of Saturn will collapse, and Neptune will flow through, healing you and inspiring you to find a new way.
Your objectives during this time are very unclear as the concrete and practical walls of Saturn are broken down by the ethereal Neptune. You may be feeling very confused and uncertain about the future and not able to cope with the daily grind. It is best to do as little as you need to to get by just so you do not get too overwhelmed. It is a good time to question your intentions and ambitions as you ego drives are lessened it is easier to see the forest for the trees. Try not to make and major decisions as your vision so cloudy even though you may be feeling depressed, disappointed and pessimistic, things are not as bad as they seem to be. This breakdown will eventually help you in the form of new perspectives, ideas and possibly even new beliefs about life in general. These changes will help in you in the future bring about changes in your life for the better. Disease and illness can happen during this time and you must be vigilant and get everything checked if you seem to be getting ill, if you leave this unchecked it may end up being disastrous in the future.